Money Woes

Why is it so hard to break out the lower middle class?? Unforeseen circumstances since last summer have dwindled my savings by over $6000. First, I ended up spending something like 3x more in Finland than I expected to because we were out of a place to stay. Then there were car issues and living off my savings while trying to find a job. Then there were the medical bills with no insurance and deposits on apartments and everyday household items. And finally college (including a new laptop) and books. It makes me sick to think about. It makes me sick to log into my bank account or my credit card account. I don't know how I am ever going to recover my savings to what it was.

I've been working and saving since I was 15. I deeply resent the fact that I've had to do this to essentially pay for my own transportation because my grades were much more mediocre than they could have been. Maybe I would never have stopped with Physics and would be on the right track now. I went to college thinking things would get better, thinking I would be making a comfortable living after graduating. I now make less than $30k a year so that I can have health benefits. I now counted on having a Saturday job, where I can now no longer work. I'm already stretched so thin. I barely spend money on myself that isn't food. In the past month, I've spent $40 on an oil change, $70 on a new serpentine belt for my car, $100 for new front brakes and rotors, $105 for a new battery and now $140 for a new alternator and $168 in towing - $623 in repairs and maintenance. THANKFULLY, Chris has helped me out a ton and probably saved me more than $20 on the brakes, $10 on the battery, and $20 for the alternator. I feel like I should be looking into getting another car, but my savings in so uncomfortably low that I don't want to touch it.

These decisions are so tough to make and I always feel like I make the wrong decision and have to YET AGAIN learn from my mistakes. I always wish I had some sort of mentor to give me advice and guide me in the right direction. Now, I also have to figure out how to pay for the rest of college. I feel like my options are so limited and I refuse to go into debt, so I don't know how I am going to make it. What kills me is $623 like this will make or break me and throw EVERYTHING off, but is like pennies to other people.

I think I'll end on focusing on what I DO have and what I am thankful for because every good rant needs this kind of balance.

1. Chris who has been a godsend in this whole process. He has work and then an exam right after and is coming right to my house after to install an alternator at 9 p.m. His selflessness seriously brings tears to my eyes. I have no idea how I am going to ever repay him for all of the amazing things he's done for me.
2. My Aunt Kathleen for riding me to PepBoys today and her and my Uncle John for giving me this truck to begin with. I honestly don't feel like I deserve the kindness they've afforded over the years.
3. Luke, who rode me to PepBoys a few days ago and didn't complain once that my terrible day was hindering his and in the way of getting his stuff done.
4. Being employed and not having to worry about my health or a steady paycheck coming in. Also, having a wonderful understanding boss and co-workers who are ready and willing to help me out, drive me to work, cover the phones, and just generally be sympathetic.
5. The AAA service person and gentleman who stopped to make sure I was alright and who offered to tow me at least from the dangerous spot where I had broken down and who also saved me money by having me purchase a AAA membership and also the peace of mind that I won't have to worry about breaking down and being stranded again.
6. Finally feeling like I have a home.
7. No longer feeling ill every single day.
8. Knowing what I want to do with my life... no matter how hard sometimes it seems like to get there.