And Now We Wait...

"Life was always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act." - Paulo Coelho

Okay, I'm just going to admit it - I'm terrified. This waiting is so very difficult. I want to prepare and plan and start my academic life. But, the bottom line is, it still may not happen. I know the best I can do is stay positive and hope that my personal statement and references make me stand out. I feel like I'm kind of "faking it til I make it" as far as confidence that I will be the one they possibly select out of four. There is this crazy balancing act I seem to be attempting with how often I can bug people who I've tried to get advice from. I just seem to have no idea what I am doing. I'm applying to an internship at a marine biochemical institute to try to get some lab experience should I get in. I'm not sure how this is going to work, given I work close to an hour away and a 8-4:30pm schedule. I may be willing to work several nights of the week and on weekends in addition to my schedule, but I doubt those who work there will. I want to email people again and ask them what they did in the months before graduate school to prepare them - what books did they read? internships? seminars?

I'm also attending the Mid-Atlantic Malacologists meeting at the Delaware Museum of Natural History on March 31st. I feel like this is a networking opportunity for my potential advisors, but I feel awkward emailing them to ask them if there is anything they'd want me to inquire about. Is this tacky? Is it brown nosing? I feel like I don't have anyone to ask these questions... there isn't a single person in my family who went to graduate school, no one among my friends in the sciences (save one I am continually bugging), and my professors from undergrad seem constantly busy. Should I just bite the bullet and shoot out a few emails or will I be shooting myself in the foot? Am I meant to struggle through all of this alone as some sort of test of my judgment or do most people have a mentor/support/guidance through the process?

I also plan to contact some professors at TU to see if I could be of assistance in their labs at all. I'll be working on my resume/cover letter today and tomorrow for the internship as well as to send some professors. Sometimes I just hope for someone to take pity on me and take me under their wing. I know I can do it alone, but I'd love to be on top of the curve for once instead of scrambling to figure everything out. I have the motivation! Let's do this!