I am in the midst of writing my personal statement for graduate school and an NSP Fellowship, culminating all of the events and experiences that have brought me to this point in my life and to my desire to be a scientist, trying to convince these bodies that I am "worthy." And I would like to take a small break from writing to ... write some more (gosh what is wrong with me?)... to address the point above Dr. Tyson has brought up via his twitter account. I've witnessed a deal of animosity about this show in particular from some in the science community.
If I had to sum up what it is to write a personal statement is in one word (other than exhausting) it would most certainly be - awkward. With a less than traditionally competitive application, my personal statement really has to be inspiring and interesting while remaining honest and open. Those who know me well, know that there are certain topics involving certain emotions I avoid at all costs when it comes to certain experiences (and people) I've endured. These various events, while having shaped me tremendously as a person, are not at all easy things for me to share with others. Comfort with vulnerability is something I've been working at for some time now. That said, I'd like to take this opportunity to discuss one such instance and how it has shaped me. I've included a small portion thus far in my personal statement (which is also currently highlighted in green - which means "I am not very confident in this section, edit/delete/keep?") so I've had some time to examine and reflect.
Substance abuse has had a prevalence in my family which has certainly shaped me into the responsible, independent, empathetic, enthusiastic, capricious, and also self-critical, slightly (:P) obsessive person I have become today. However, that is not even really what I want to talk about here. Because home life after a certain age was less than desirable, I always found immense solace at school and developed a keen zest for learning. I lived a very isolated existence in my elementary school, branded "weird" and a "nerd" with little to no friends as a result. The fact that I wore nothing but hand-me-down and thrift store clothes probably didn't help much either. I can remember it not really affecting me at the time, really just focusing on what I did have - a handful of friends outside of school who were just as odd as me, animals and the woods that surrounded our house, where I would retreat daily, and school - I loved learning! School excited me like nothing else - a place where I could ask questions and make mistakes, where my mind was busy and I was happy. I was invited to maybe one sleepover and one birthday party total from the kids in my school until 5th grade- I suspect my mother had some sort of influence in this, as one of the kids was a neighbor and the other's mother was an acquaintance of hers.
I remember in 4th grade, our teacher made the announcement that a little girl had moved to our area from China and that she did not yet speak English and was likely going to quite nervous at her new school - our school! I couldn't believe it! I girl was coming to our school from the other side of the world? I wondered what kinds of things she could teach us and how different her life would be now as an American. I decided then that I would make it my mission to become this girl's friend - to show her the ropes and to help teach her English. Much to my surprise, her and I did become friends and I no longer felt like an outcast. She showed me how to make geometric paper shapes with the leftover computer paper and even gave me a pineapple eraser from her tiny, adorable, and stocked pencil case. All was well until the 5th grade picnic. Every year in August, my elementary school would hold a picnic where parents and kids would come to share food and to see "the list" posted, allocating each student to a teacher. There were only two 5th grade teachers, so I knew I had a pretty good chance of landing the same class as my new friend. Not surprisingly (in the scheme of things), we were not in the same class and I was absolutely crushed. She ended up finding a niche (and more than just one friend) in her class,which is something that really hurt me at the time, but that I understood a few years later. The poor girl! What had I done as the most un-popular girl in school (save the girl who ate pads of butter in the cafeteria and who even had at least ONE friend) by be-friending this poor girl and dooming her to a pretty lonely elementary existence?
My story (and hers I hope) works out well in the end because I ended up gaining a few friends of my own in 5th grade (and also some hand-me-down "name brand" clothing and nike shoes) and got accepted to a magnet middle school far from there, where I was surrounded by like-minded individuals in a stimulating, enriching environment (where we wore uniforms!). I originally fought my parents tooth and nail to go to the local middle school. How cruel of them to force me to go to "the nerd school" where I knew no one and had finally made a group of friends! I am so thankful that they refused to budge, unwilling to let me attend such a "trashy" local school, when a magnet school was available.
My point here is that maybe if there were more characters in media who were geeky, or dorky, or weird, or strange maybe I would have had more of a chance in elementary school. No child should be discouraged to follow their interests - no matter how nerdy or offbeat. I am thankful that I generally cared more about learning and my own "weirdo" interests than I did about having friends, but not all kids are that lucky. I certainly have gone through phases where I questioned (and regrettably a few times acted on) trying to have more mainstream interests or just budging a little bit to gain some social standing. I've witnessed many of my peers being critical of "nerdiness" becoming trendy or popular or mainstream. But, if shows like The Big Bang Theory exist, which show likable, relatable characters who are also over-the-top geeks, even it means they are making cracks at themselves (and "geekdom" in general) every once in a while, I am all for it.
Being smart shouldn't be taboo. Being interested in science should not be uncool. I, for one, am thrilled it's becoming something I've never been and no longer have any interest in becoming (save for the very purposes of spreading my love of science) - popular.
